Getting Confident
Sometimes being confident is just not an option.
You know what I mean – when you see your ex with a new love, or when you realize you’ve majorly messed up.
But confidence goes much deeper than that immediate, gut wrenching reaction.
Can you get confident enough to show all parts of you, of your person as well as your body? Are you ready to show others your darkest, most secret thoughts and emotions? Ready to rock a two-piece swimsuit at the beach?
If you happily say yes to these questions, I’m in awe of you.
This can be a struggle for most people. It might leave you to slip a little white lie in order to get out of the uncomfortable situation. Or plain out make you duck and dive, not to be seen.
But are these really built on other people’s thoughts of you? Or, could they, perhaps, be fictions of your own imagination?
And, what is the worst thing that can happen? They laugh at you? Laugh back. They look at you with a look that stings worse than any swam of bees? Ignore, and most importantly, move on.
I know it hurts you the very most when someone finds an old scab of yours to pick (i.e. making fun of you for something you’re already insecure about, to be clear). I really do. I’ve been bullied, poked, prodded, laughed at, stared at, pointed at, ignored, and been talked sh*t about. And it’s hurt me more than I’m willing to admit.
The key is this: you learn.
You learn to live with it, to stop seeing it and to ignore those (just equally as) insecure people who have nothing better to do with their time than to annoy you.
And it’s terrible that we have to manage like that, but this is the reality of things.
What about if you have something or wear something you have to, say, for medical reasons, and can’t, and definitely SHOULDN’T hide?
Confidence isn’t always easy, but it is definitely required. Especially by people who can’t help what they look like or what they wear.
Last week, Miss Idaho, Sierra Sandison, rocked her bikini-part of the competition wearing an insulin pump. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, read more HERE.)
Miss Idaho/Sandison’s amazing gesture has filled the diabetic community with both hope and confidence. Using the hashtag #showmeyourpump, it’s become nothing short of a social media phenomenon to share a picture of your insulin pump.
I got so inspired and deeply impressed by Miss Idaho 2014 for showcasing her insulin pump in the competition, so I decided to show my support and admiration by posing, in a bikini, showing my pump, too.
By doing that, I want every single one of you to know that it’s OK to wear a bikini (or anything else you’re shoving further back in your closet because it’s too “revealing” for wearing a device that keeps you ALIVE) – if people don’t like what they see they can kindly look away.
#showmeyourpump
And, for the sake of clarification, no, this is not easy to post for me, many parts of my body are not my favorite. But I am thankful that so many parts of it still work! And no, those dark patches are NOT bruises. My doc and I think it’s another AI issue, but no one seems to know. If you do, please let me know what it is!
Now, I want to see you showing your pump too, although I understand not everyone is ready for a full swimsuit shoot, take a photo and tag it with #showmeyourpump !
Ps. You can find Miss Idaho’s personal blog HERE.
…as well as a superb interview with her HERE by fellow d-blogger Kerri Morrone Sparling.
Congratulation to your courage and thank you for sharing this. This is strong a mental mover – towards more openness, honesty, respect, tolerance and acceptance.
Thank you so much for your encouraging comment, Stefan! It really means a lot to me.
Hi I’m Claire and I’m 14 years old. I have issues with my pump showing on my body and I hide it all the time, I’m trying to build confidence by wearing a bikini with my insulin pump. This is helping me out! Thanks Hanna!
Hi Claire, thank you so much for your moving comment! You shouldn’t hide something that is such a big part of you, but on the other hand I know exactly how you feel about showing your tools to the world. One thing you could try is to have the pump out for just a little while at a time, so that you have time to get used to the feeling of it. After a while, it will start feeling more natural until you see that it’s a beautiful part of you that keeps you alive. And that’s nothing short of a miracle. Good luck Claire, and let me know if there’s anything I can help you with.
Great post. I have type 1 since 2003 and I’m also active in sports. Just started CGM 1 year ago, but I’ve never used a pump. My endocrinologist is always trying to get me to start on a pump, but I don’t because I love to swim, paddle board, and play in the water, so I don’t use the pump for that reason. CGM alone is some challenge to combine with this because of the issue of where to put the sensor and how to protect. What I end up doing most of the time is put them on my butt and my swimsuit keeps it in place no problem, but for it to work while swimming, I have to do intervals that allow me to put my butt above water every 5 minutes when it’s transmitting. CGM is discrete and small, but you have to protect the sensor from aquatic shear and chemical degradation, and also have the receiver in range when it’s transmitting. It won’t transmit through water.
I’ve heard of insulin pumpers having to remove their pumps to swim, either to protect the tubing or the pump. I suppose one way to minimize the risk for a pumper who frequently disconnects would be to figure out the minimal basal rate and get that from a long acting insulin, such as Lantus, Tresiba, etc. This way, when you disconnect, your basal doesn’t go to zero, but you might still need to correct highs with a bolus if you’re not doing enough activity to burn off the excess blood sugar.
At any rate, I would hope that you’ve gone to the closed-loop systems, which integrate both the pump and CGM, since you’re already dealing with the far more complex issues of where to put the infusion sites, etc. My issue isn’t appearance, but simply keeping the sensors from falling off for the now very ridiculous wear time of 10 days. Anyway, take care.
Ethan
Hey Ethan!
Thanks so much for your comment, I truly appreciate you taking the time to write to me!
I have not gone into the Looping systems, as they are not yet customisable enough for the values I get on my own. Adding to that that no CGM is 100% accurate, I wouldn’t feel comfortable with being automised like that. Hopefully this will change in the future!
For extra holding power on the CGM, I can really recommend Skin Grip. They barely come off when you want them to. 😉 And how about looking at the Omnipod insulin pump, or another patch pump? They work awesomely in water and can be taped down extra if needed, as well.
Good luck with your training and hope you have a day full of smooth blood sugars,
Hanna