New Year – New Resolutions?
“Working hard for something we don’t care about is called stress; working hard for something we love is called passion”
So why stress yourself to a goal you think you need and want?
I don’t believe in new years resolutions.
They are very often a surefire way of setting yourself up for failure.
Why is this?
There are many more or less valid reasons to why you don’t stick with your own promise to yourself.
I want to run through five of them with you today.
- You set goals you don’t want yourself.
Why, or, rather, for whom do you want to lose that weight?
For your partner to find you more attractive? For your kids? To keep up with the Joneses?
It’s all a damn lie.
If you don’t want it for yourself, and yourself exclusively, you are very unlikely to actually stick with it.
Ask yourself if the promise you made yourself last week actually is for your own sake or for someone elses.
FIX: Chose a resolution for YOU.
- You say the same old resolutions you did last year. And the year before. And the one before that.
“I want to lose weight, get healthy, organized, and save more money. This is my year, this year I’ll make it happen.”
Does that sound familiar? (Turns out that they are some of the most common new years resolutions, so technically, they should be familiar!)
Do they also happen to be the same ones you made last year?
Keeping up “appearances” in front of yourself is just a huge let down. Let’s face it; if you didn’t manage to make all of that happen last year, what says you’ll be able to do so this year?
Maybe something else is keeping you from creating your new life? More on that in the next point.
FIX: Ask yourself what you want NOW, for THIS year as the person you are TODAY and want to be in a year from now. What you wanted last year doesn’t matter. Anymore.
- You bite off more than you can chew.
Back to the example: “I want to lose weight, get healthy, organized, and save more money. This is my year, this year I’ll make it happen.”
Does that even sound realistic at all?
I know a year might seem like a huge chunk of time for you to get everything done and dusted. But if we’re real here for a second, we both know that that’s not the case.
Every day life gets in between your high hopes and promises to yourself, and all you end up doing is to stress and be disappointed in your seeming inability to make “any changes”.
You’re simply not giving yourself a chance!
FIX: Set realistic goals. What can you achieve within the next year? What do you want to achieve in the next year? Pick your number 1 on that list and stick to it. (If you manage to do more of them, awesome job!!)
- Your resolution isn’t focused enough.
If you’ve ever done any kind of coaching, or are at all into that sort of thing, you’ll have heard of SMART goals.
Goals that are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timely are more likely to be reached.
And although this is a fantastic starting point of goal setting, there is one thing that is more important than the others: SPECIFIC.
If your goal isn’t specific enough, such as “I want to lose weight”, you never know when you’ve reached your goal.
If your goal, on the other hand, is specific, such as “I want to lose 5 kg until the trip I’m going on 20th February”, it’s a completely different thing.
Your brain registers it as a goal with a deadline that you have to make continuous effort to reach.
Do you see the difference?
You need to set your goal in a way that leaves you knowing exactly what you need to do next as a first step toward a healthier, happier, and better you.
FIX: Make sure your resolution is specific.
- You’re should-ing all over yourself
As in, if you don’t really want to make this change for yourself (see point 1), but feel you S H O U L D do it.
I’m sorry, game over, better luck next time.
If you say that you “should lose weight” instead of that you “want (really badly) to lose weight”, there’s a huge difference in how you, your body, brain and energy interpret that message.
A resolution that comes from guilt with an added side of stress and unhappiness for dessert will never work. And you should never say never.
It’s similar to that ever long to do list you have made for yourself that you know, deep down inside, you will never finish. Or want to finish either. It just creates too much anxiety, too much stress and too little fun!
FIX: Eliminate “should” from your resolution vocabulary. Or, better yet, altogether.
Your goals and resolutions ultimately have to make you happy, make your soul bubble and your heart shine.
Reviewing said goals and resolutions definitely should happen more than once a year as well. This is my biggest pet peeve with new years resolutions – once a year, on a more or less alcohol induced evening, you “have to” make promises for the next year.
That’s just weird!
Help is right around the corner though. And especially so if you’re in the Zürich (Switzerland) area!
If your (true) resolution is in any way health or fitness related, I’ve teamed up with two beyond excellent coaches to give you the best possible start of the new, healthier, happier, fitter and more productive you. Check us out here!
And, if you are in or around Zürich on the 17th January you have the exclusive chance to try us out and take us out for a test run! More details and to book your seat, click here!
Remember; resolutions are out, fun is in.